


vines that butter my crousunt

by Terror_and_Dreams



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: AND OTHER FUN SHIT, Memes, Multi, Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-11-13 16:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18034739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terror_and_Dreams/pseuds/Terror_and_Dreams
Summary: The SallyFace group chat is w i l d





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> CriteSpranberry : Sal  
> HorseCock : Larry  
> IWon'tHesitateBitch : Ashley  
> Vsause_ToddHere: Todd  
> ForGodsSake : Neil  
> TheLocalChristianFaggotTM: Travis

**HorseCock:** You're a wizard Sally

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm a WHAT!?

**HorseCock:** Sally

**HorseCock:** you're a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm a WHAT!?

**HorseCock:** A wizard Sally

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm a WIZARD!?

**HorseCock:** yes Sally. you're a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** but I'm just Sally

**HorseCock:** well "just Sally"

**HorseCock:** you're a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** but I'm just Sally!

**HorseCock:** no

**HorseCock:** "just Sally"

**HorseCock:** you are a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** Listen here Larry!

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm not a wizard, I'm just Sally!

**HorseCock:** No.

**HorseCock:** Sally!

**HorseCock:** you are a wizard!

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm not a wizard Larry, I'm just Sally!

**HorseCock:** Listen, Sally. You're a wizard!

**CriteSpranberry:** No Larry, I'm just Sally!

**HorseCock:** Sally, for God's sake, you're a wizard!

**CriteSpranberry:** a WIZARD!? I'm just SALLY!

**HorseCock:** No "just Sally" you're a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm not a wizard Larry I'm just Sally!

**HorseCock:** No "just Sally" you are a wizard!

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm not a wizard Larry!

**HorseCock:** SALLY! you. are a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** Listen here Larry! You fat oaf! I'M NOT A FUCKING WIZARD!

**HorseCock:** For God's sake Sally. What is with this language!

**HorseCock:** YOU'RE A FUCKING WIZARD!

**CriteSpranberry:** I don't give a FUCK you FAT HAIRY BASTARD! I'M NOT A FUCKING WIZARD!

**HorseCock:** Listen Sally. You're going to go to hogwarts and do spells and shit. and you'll be FUCKING PLEASED about it.

**Vsause_ToddHere:** Are you two done yet?

**CriteSpranberry:** I DON'T WANT TO DO YOUR FUCKING SPELLS YOU BASKET-CASE. stick it up your DICK-HOLE

**Vsause_ToddHere:** taking that as a no

**HorseCock:** My fucking WHAT!?

**CriteSpranberry:** Larry. you're pushing me over the FUCKING LINE!!!

**HorseCock:** No I'm not. You are a wizard. You're gonna go to hogwarts. You're gonna do spells. You get a wand. You get a fucking owl. It'll give you your mail. DEAL WITH IT. YOU TWAT!

**CriteSpranberry:** IMA FUCKEN PUT MY DICK IN THE OWL!

**HorseCock:** I did that when I was younger. and that was a bad move. you are a wizard

**CriteSpranberry:** I'm a WHAT!?

**HorseCock:** Sally for fuck's sake listen to meh. 

**CriteSpranberry:** Larry I've been through this. I don't give a BLOODY FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!

**HorseCock:** This is NOT negotiable! You come with me you SPECCY CUT FUCK LITTLE DICK SKINNY CUNT EAT WHORE WANGER!

**CriteSpranberry:** You FUCKEN set your beard on FIRE!

**HorseCock:** MON' THEN YOU LITTLE SPECCY CUNT SQUARE-GO LIKE

**CriteSpranberry:** I'll fucken BURST YE'

**HorseCock:** Right you little wank steam. If you don't get your act together I'm gonna drag you to hogwarts. You'll get your wand. You'll get your owl that'll deliver your SHITTY MAIL. and that'll be that and you'll enjoy it ya' chinky

**CriteSpranberry:** I'll fuckin' knaw your arm off Larry!

**HorseCock:** Listen you. Get near my arm and I'll slap you accross the face like a little BITCH!

**CriteSpranberry:** I'll pump you silly!

**HorseCock:** C'mon then you cunt!

**CriteSpranberry:** SUCK MY PIXIE DICK YA CHUBBY COON!

**HorseCock:** I'LL RUPTURE YOUR ANUS WITH MY MASSIVE BEAR COCK!

**CriteSpranberry:** I'LL RIP YOUR GIANT DICK OFF AND BASH YE' ACROSS THE JAW WITH IT!

**HorseCock:** LE'S GO RIGHT NOW BRING IT ON YA LITTLE WANK

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** both of you go to bed


	2. Chapter 2

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** Do any of you know where I left my virginity?

**HorseCock:** nah dude

**Vsause_ToddHere:** I- What?

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** I left my virginity somewhere but I don't know where that somewhere is

**CriteSpranberry:** You left it in your car. I have it now

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** Oh. Well can I have it back?

**CriteSpranberry:** no

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** Why not?

**CriteSpranberry:** finders keepers

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** Damn it

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** What's happening?

**Vsause_ToddHere:** If I'm following correctly, Sal fucked Travis

**CriteSpranberry:** That's exactly what happened

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** Alright... So why aren't you the least bit surprised?

**ForGodsSake:** Oh Todd and I saw it coming

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** How?

Vsause_ToddHere:Gay-dar

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** Jesus Christ-

**CriteSpranberry:** Would y'all like details?

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** Please don't give them details

**CriteSpranberry:** Alright, how about an F in the chat for your virginity?

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** That's fine. F

**Vsause_ToddHere:** F

**ForGodsSake:** F

**HorseCock:** F

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** But wait Sal where's your virginity?

**CriteSpranberry:** In one of the locker rooms at the middle school I went to

**IWon'tHesitateBitch:** oh

**HorseCock:** Fun

**CriteSpranberry:** We won't talk about what happened to that girl afterwards though. I still feel really ashamed for myself because of that

**HorseCock:** Wait... Did you...?

**CriteSpranberry:** Yes, I did and she made me come to the hospital when she had her so that was hard to explain to my dad. I'm just thankful she didn't give the kid a dumb name

**HorseCock:** oof. What'd she name her?

**CriteSpranberry:** Miriam

**HorseCock:** Hm

**CriteSpranberry:** Now can we just stop talking about this?

**HorseCock:** **** ****Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough cough* thiswasallpulledoutofmyass *cough cough*


	3. Chapter 3

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** that moment when you get gatekept out of being yourself *dabs while crying*

**HorseCock:** honestly mood-

**CriteSpranberry:** What happened man?

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** My dad found out what we did

**CriteSpranberry:** Oh shit, how?

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** He basically went sicko mode and beat it out of me

**Vsause_ToddHere:** o hecc

**ForGodsSake:** Babe, do me a favour and never do that again

**Vsause_ToddHere:** Alright...

**CriteSpranberry:** I have a plan

**TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** I'm scared

**CriteSpranberry:** So what we do is we do like a Moonrise Kingdom thing where we make a paper mache you, put that in your bed, then escape with you and your shit by going up your chimney

**Vsause_ToddHere:** That actually might work-

**CriteSpranberry:** Alright, we're doing that then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why it was so angstey there, wHoA
> 
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> 
> Also now I need a Moonrise Kingdom AU where Travis is Suzie and Sal is Sam


	4. Chapter 4

**LocalChristianFaggotTM:** Have you ever had a dream where you um that you uh that that you want um that you uh th-that you want him to do you so much you could do anything?

**HorseCock:** you good bro?

**Vsause_ToddHere:** Travis are you having a stroke?

**CriteSpranberry:** *reporter voice* This just in, is my boyfriend having a stroke? Stay tuned to find out

**LocalChristianFaggotTM:** I might have a stroke after what you just called me

**CriteSpranberry:** Oh. Anyways, do you wanna come over? My dad's not home ;)

**LocalChristianFaggotTM:** oo la la, of course I'll come over if your dad isn't home

**Vsause_ToddHere:** Can Neil and I join you?

**CriteSpranberry:** Sure my dude

**IWontHesitateBitch:** What-

**HorseCock:** you just witnessed the gay agenda at work


	5. Chapter 5

**Vsause_ToddHere:** WHY AREN'T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!?!?

 **ForGodsSake:** Todd I love you but what the fuck does that even mean?

 **TheLocalChristianFaggotTM:** *coughcough* howmydadsoundstomesometimes *coughcough*

 **CriteSpranberry:** travis out here-

 **Vsause_ToddHere:** Sal I know you did this

 **CriteSpranberry:** WHAT? why would I Toddy dearest, the man who gave you a blowjob last night, do such a thing?

 **The LocalChristianFaggotTM:** _Sal all of us gave each other blowjobs_

 **CriteSpranberry:** so?

 **ForGodsSake:** Sal I'd like to point out that you're not denying this

 **Vsause_ToddHere:** HA

 **CriteSpranberry:** fuck

 **Vsause_ToddHere:** NOW YOU GET YOUR ASS OFF OF TRAV'S DICK AND COME PUT THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

 **CriteSpranberry:** alright DAD...

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only fic I've written with a large amount of words in the first chapter.
> 
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> 
> Hm.


End file.
